another year...why marriage works.

wow, has it really been 4 months since I last posted?!?! I guess I can officially hang up the title that I'm a "blogger"...ha! 

 I guess because the hubs and I just celebrated another year together, I find myself thinking about this more lately. 

I also thought about it as we drove home yesterday from our little get away. I said.. "you know, we're gonna have to fight harder to stay together..." to which he replied..."I know..."



Good. We're on the same page. 



A friend texted me over the weekend and part of her text read..."I'm not disillusioned to think it's perfect(talking about our marriage), but it's evident that God is first and it is blessed..." humbling and encouraging.... whew! I'm glad she sees it as not perfect, because we are not perfect. And I'm convinced in all of our imperfections of life, His perfection shines and is shown. 

I've wondered when I might be "qualified" to write on such a topic. I still don't think I'm "qualified" , and if I were given the opportunity to sit at the feet of a couple that has been married double our marriage time, I would take every opportunity to listen to their wisdom....so with that , this is for you newly weds....

This is why I know marriage works.


I know it works, because when we said "I do".....we had no idea what marriage was really going to look like. 

I know it works, because when we said "I do" I didn't know Tim wasn't going to be able to fulfill all my needs...and vice versa....

I know it works, because when we said "I do", Tim didn't know he was going to have to help his wife get through her "daddy issues"....

I know it works, because when we said "I do" I didn't know there would be a time I would want to just walk away or ignore each other when it got tough. 

I know it works, because when we said "I do", we didn't know that we'd have yelling matches that would last into the wee hours of the morning.

I know it works, because when we said "I do", I didn't know my husband would look me in the face one day and tell me "if you walk out that door, then I will too..." 

I know it works, because when we said "I do", I didn't know that one day, I'd view my husband... the one I looked in the eyes at that alter; the one that made me have butterflies, plan big dreams together, my hero, my lover.....I didn't know that one day I'd view him as my enemy. 

I know it works, because years ago, that husband....my husband, looked me in the eyes and said "I am NOT your enemy....I am FOR you, I am FOR us.".... and those few words, rocked my perspective forever.....


I know it works, because when we said "I do", it's wasn't the only time we said it 17 years ago...it was only the first time we said it.

I know it works, because we say "I do", every single day. No, we HAVE to say it every.single.day. 

But not what was said 17 years ago.... "I, Katie, take thee, Tim, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you."

But more like, "I, Katie, take thee, Tim, every.single. day, to be my husband, my companion, my best friend, my accountability partner, my only lover..... to have and to hold, every.single.day. For times in battle, for times in temptation, for times when we fight struggles that make us want to quit..... when we question each others motives... when we struggle in our sin....when we try to find fulfillment in each other or others, and not Christ. To love, cherish and honor each other.... to point each other to Christ... to view each other as our biggest fan, our proudest supporter; a partner in the crazy life that lies ahead...to make time for each other when time is not available.... to fight for greater purpose. To praise each other big time, but our God bigger. To make decisions together. To listen in our struggles; to fight through each of them and not push each other away.  To serve together and not stray far from each other. To not give opportunity for something to come between us. To hold each other in high respect and value so that we may keep trust. To always strive to stay true to the word, and listen to God's calling for us....and when one strays the other is used to bring him/her back. To view our only enemy as Satan and not each other. That our marriage would be bold, raw and always in need of a Savior; and when we fail in these areas, walk in forgiveness and look for God's grace and mercy to redeem and sustain us. "

This is why I know marriage works. Because it's a choice to say "I do", every.single.day. 

I do, Tim Pilcher, I do. God is good. I Love you.