testing one, two...testing one, two...

it's like a mic check...I'd almost forgotten my login and password it has been so long since I was last here. Just feeling the keys under my fingertips bring such happiness.



Weird, I know. I wish I could be here more, but life is full. Who would've thought adding another kid would change things?!?! Who would've thought having 4 kids would take up time?!?! Who would've thought that when a mother has spare time, she prefers showering or researching how to get rid of razor burn?!?! Who would've thought?!?!






Life is full. I'm tired, energized, overwhelmed, relaxed, happy, content, thankful and crazy, all bundled up in one.






The "big" girls are finishing up their Freshman year at Northview. They make us proud. We've had some good, hard, easy, loving, hurtful, funny and sad conversations all bundled up in one this year. Just the other night as I talked with them I got a bigger glimpse of their future. I will be sad when they leave our home, but there is nothing I want more for them then to GO. Go and be used. Go and explore. Go and create. Go and learn. Go and dream. Just Go. Tim and I talk often about how we will respond to the possible craziness and chaos they may bring later with good/poor decisions. God, I hope however respond, we do it with love. May they ONLY see love.....





Miss Lizzy, still is just a light in every room. She told me tonight..."you know mom, I'm not sure I want to go to college one day....you know, some people don't....you know, I just want to be a mom, you don't need to go to college for that..." She loves her family well, and surprises me with her gifts of service all the time....There are days I struggle with continuing to homeschool her...it's hard and some days I wonder if she really likes it. Then, there will be days she says..."you know mom, when I have kids, I'm gonna homeschool them...will you help me homeschool them?" I hope she keeps that big smile on her face always.




Little Monkey Hope....where to start?? There are days I think she is the glue to our family. When she's really hungry she says...."God, Thank you, food, amen!" There is no question she knows she's adored. As spoiled as she is, she has learned to play VERY well by herself, and this mama can FINALLY leave the room and get things done while she plays. She is smart, smart, smart! She amazes us. She loves her Daddy and will greet him at the door when he arrives home from work. She loves saying..."hello, daddy! hello, daddy!" And today, she waved at just about everyone in the grocery store and said.."hi ya! " She has her meltdown moments for sure, and informed me today that spankin's "hurt". She is one of the most beautiful gifts I could ever have been given. She gave me a much clearer picture of Christ's love for us. Thank you, dear Hope.

I've said "no" to people more times this year then I have my whole life. Everyone has been precious in asking me to help with design/decorating. I am humbled every time they ask...Not being able to continue like I was doing, did and has felt like a piece of me is missing. I'm thankful for the committal opportunities I have kept that have given me a creative outlet.... otherwise, I truly think I would go crazy. As a sweet friend would say "I'm REALLY good at laundry!", I unfortunately can't even say that, because I detest doing laundry..... but I get what she means.....there are some gifts and talents that shouldn't go in the wash, even in the "seasons" of life. I was recently asked to consider speaking at a women's church event. Believe it or not, I don't find myself a public speaker......She said, "I can tell you aren't thrilled about it"...if you're reading this, I've thought about that day often, and you know I love you. It was more that I really didn't know what to say. What in the world would I even speak to these women about??? I guess we as women, just love to know we're not alone. There is something powerful with seeing God work in your life, and I've said many a'times before, that if we don't share what the Lord is doing in our lives then HOW will people see his works??? I guess we don't share, because the most beautiful work is done in the most dreadful of places, and sometimes you have to show the messy to people in order to reveal the transformation....so just maybe God is mustering up something for me to share....maybe.





maybe it won't be months before I head back over here. If it is, it's because my arms are full like the picture above.

Blessings, Peeps!

The Struggle is Real....take time to breathe.

There was one point in my life, that I contemplated on writing a book.....

THANK God, I didn't ever write one.


I'm sure I'd look back and be Smh(that's an acronym for Shaking My Head....I've just recently learned that...) on half or more of what I would have written...

That is the beauty of aging....You either get wiser, or you get dumber. Hopefully, we're all leaning on the wiser end.

I'm still very much my youth and have boocoodles to learn, but now that I have a few years of some things under my belt, I've experienced several stages of marriage....and as I write this, you and myself are in one of them.





I've learned that raising people is hard. Every single step of the way. Every one.  Tim and I have the....hmmmmm.... let's call it "crazy" blessing of raising a toddler, approaching middle school child, and two high schoolers....all girls. To say that our home is a gigantic mood swing, would be an understatement......God Bless, Tim Pilcher.....I love that man...

When we were starting the process of adoption, many people thought we were crazy...no really. We had people tell us "why would we want to possibly hinder our 'perfect' family??"... I think it's safe to say, that at that point a couple years ago that, #1. we weren't perfect (and never will be), but #2. we did have more of our crap together. Which is one reason I write this today.


I've shared before of my struggling in our early part of marriage with perfectionism...how I literally had to mop our white linoleum floors (those are of the devil if you have children, BTW....) every night before bed...if that tells you anything. God had to do some major work in my life at that time to free me of that struggle. Not the clean floors, but the control of getting them clean.....keeping them clean....and letting that clean floor give me that sense that because they were spotless, my life could be also. I had it under control...until the juice spilled, or the plate of spaghetti dropped. Kind of like life....it all seems fine and sparkly clean until in a matter of minutes you feel like all the shit hit the fan...

Since adopting Hope, I've had some of those old feelings creep back in....at times I honestly have to walk away, close a door and tell myself "Jesus fills your cup, Katie..." over and over again. If I don't....beware of mama bear. Juggling 4 lives....4 individuals, 4 schedules, 4 tender hearts.... can have you in severe panic/survival mode...the worst mode I could ever want to be in, but a ride I have ridden more then once in our marriage.

I'm getting a more clear understanding of why marriages fall apart during these years....

A friend posted a question on FB about what a mom would want to do with an hour all to herself...what gets her recharged for the next day...heck, the next few minutes. I responded with needing to just BREATHE...


I would love the paint my nails that have been neglected forever, clean my floors, take a bath, take a nap, go shopping...but in all honesty...I need breath to be filled back in me.


For many people it could be different, but when I came across this article floating around , I could totally relate. I've sworn on this piece of writing forever. The most help (at least through these many years) that Tim Pilcher can be to me is getting me out of the house for some new breath....to take me and date me. To want time with me. And that takes work. Four lives....four souls....not including our own. They all tick tock to a fine tuned schedule. Every day is filled with something. Every day, there will be an expectant though. Every day there will be another mountain to climb, whether it be the unexpected stomach bug that hits your home, the family member that gets cancer, the car that won't start, or the other tennis shoe that can't be found....

Through each and every circumstance, whatever it may be...one of the number one things that I believe will help us and the next generation, is seeing Christ lived out in our marriages. And that is a hard pill to swallow sometimes....but one of the most rewarding acts to be apart of.

Christ died for His church. Sacrificed and gave for His bride. Commitment isn't just fulfilling an obligation...it's engaging in it. It's to hold fast to something....to not let it go.... Life can make that so hard to not only keep, but to flourish it. To not be just room mates, but to be ONE.


This morning I got a call from the hubs asking me to dinner tonight. To know the preparation it will take to go out tonight, the jerseys that will need to be washed for tomorrow's game, the deadline on the project, the babysitter you have to line up, the patch that will need to be sewn on the Tae Kwon Do uniform, the grocery store run, the dinner prepared for your kids so you don't feel guilty for them eating cereal for dinner three nights in a row, or the shower you want to get so you at least SMELL attractive to your spouse... IT'S HARD MAMAS, I hear ya!! It.is.hard.





 But I'm telling ya...GO, it is worth it....GO! If you don't keep making time for your spouse, you will slowly lose your spouse.....It won't even seem purposely that you did, but because you weren't purposeful with them, it was.



One time, I was so tired for a date night out, that we ordered in...we locked ourselves in the bedroom....next thing ya know, Tim is taking the plate of food off of my lap....yep, I fell asleep while eating it...true story.... at least we tried. So, I get it Mamas....I really DO get it...

We're in a season, but every single stage of life is a new season... to each, a new or different challenge...It's worth the fight through it, and for it though. I know one day, our kids will thank us for it.

Ramblings of a tired Mama....

I've realized that the social media of Instagram and Facebook is where you will find me if you are looking for me on the screen. Blogging takes up entirely too much time.... where the latter, I just hashtag my thoughts through a single picture for updates.


But then I realize, that blogging is SUCH therapy for me. I end up regurgitating thoughts, struggles, fears, hopes and dreams onto a completely blank white 8 1/2X11 screen like this......

and I feel so much better. I guess it's like the hour "venting" phone call to your BFF.  Something about saying your thoughts (or in this case, typing), just makes them so much more real. Then you realize the depth of who you are and where you need to go....


So here's the update on life.....






I'd be lying if I didn't say that I sound like a broken record everyday with the words... "I NEED A VACATION..." Seriously, Tim and I usually take a sabbatical (if that's even possible) once a year from parenting for say....maybe a few days. Our 15th wedding anniversary was last September and for the first time didn't go ANYWHERE to celebrate it. It was one of those times where we really felt like we were suppose to save all our pennies for an adoption we had know idea when was coming.....low and behold she came 2 mos later to the day.

And the rest is history.



On Saturday morning, Tim and the girls decided I needed to take a "day off"....how sweet. That only translated to me as..."we're not sure we want to be around you today, you are so stressed out...."





Perfect timing as I received a phone call minutes later from a friend feeling the same "AGGHHHH" I was feeling.....I stopped the convo and suggested us seeing the movie "Mom's Night Out" that I had heard such great things about.... it was perfect timing as Hope had been sick all week with her first fever, Tim had been gone to Texas that week, contractors were in our home re-gutting our unwanted bathroom remodel from last year(too much for one post), and I hadn't slept in 6 1/2mos..... but I think it was the 7 times getting up the night before with Miss Hope that DID.ME.IN....I didn't even want to be around myself.....

At 3:40pm we went off to see it..... after watching 30 minutes of previews, my phone rings during the first lines of the movie...It was one of my children....asking me where one of my other child's phone was......yes, that happened......




A lot of  you just held your own breath for me.....I know you can relate. I think my calming words to my child was....."I AM AT THE MOVIES. ISN'T YOUR FATHER AT HOME?!?!?!?!"




Thankfully, I was able to sit the next hour and a half laughing, and also panicking through the movie, and thankful I wasn't the only one that feels like a failure of a mom, even if it was a red curly headed actress proving it....





All this to say, I'm not sure I want to blog saying..."God has you right where you're suppose to be. Being a Mom is the greatest thing in the whole world. Oh, you haven't slept in forever...no worries, it's only a season. You'll sleep again one day."......First of all, if you have adult children, how can you even SAY that to someone.......did you sleep right through your children's teenage years. Ha! So, I'm not going to say those things, because frankly my dear when you're in that moment...they don't mean a damn.


Instead, I'm here to tell you mamas that......I LOVE YOU! That you are a rock star and that parenting has been and is the hardest thing you will EVER do. And that it is okay to wish that your shoulder could be more of a part of your body that your husband caresses, instead of a human tissue. And it's okay to wish your home smelt like Mr. Clean instead of the whiff of poop as you hunt for the unattended hidden poopy diaper. It's okay to want to get a shower before 3pm. And it's really okay if you have a glass of wine at 4:42pm because you held out as close to the 5 o'clock hour as possible....It's okay!! Okay, okay!!!




But, I wouldn't be helpful to you or myself if I didn't say, that yes, it is okay to wish for these things....long for these things....hope for just one of these things to happen throughout the day. But, I have had a major perspective issue lately. I've had entitlement issues over these things and I find myself  not okay when I don't get one of them. I'm in constant battle with my flesh over the poop smells, the fact I hang out in my sweaty workout clothes that stay on my body until I can hop in the shower during Hope's first nap time, and when two missionaries show up at my door after a day from hell already, I find myself saying "why me, Lord...why me...".....

World English Dictionary

perspective  (pəˈspɛktɪv)
— n
1.	a way of regarding situations, facts, etc, and judging their relative importance
2.	the proper or accurate point of view or the ability to see it; objectivity: try to get some perspective onyour troubles

importance. There it is. What is important? Well, the shoulder was needed for Hope to wipe her nose on...at least I got to work out today...yay for poopies!! her bowels are working just fine....would you like to come in and talk with me about Jesus......





Oh, y'all, it's amazing how fast my vision can fog. It's amazing how selfish I am. I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father that forgives me when I don't have perspective and can change it for me when I need it so badly. All of life is a season, an ever changing season. True we can say, "this is just a season", but the reality is...a season will always stay the same to you where ever you are if you don't change your perspective. Seasons will change, but your approach to life will not. It will feel like you are constantly drowning and there is no hope. I've been there. I've been in that place where you feel completely helpless and that nothing will get better. I can't tell you it will get better. That's not my place, because you have that choice. You are the only one that can change your perspective and ask God to give you a new breath of air and strength to conquer the next challenge. You're the only one that can change, "okay Lord...WHY ME?", to "how do you want to use me, Lord???".... I'm not a believer in "God doesn't give you what you can't handle...", because this chicka wouldn't need God if I could handle it all. And trust me, I need Him. What I do believe is this...

Hebrews 13:20-21


20Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep,21equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen."


and

Ephesians 3:16-19
 16I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.


So, I know He equips me with His spirit to fight. I know that I need Him to guide me and I know I need to surrender my entitlements and my twisted perspective. I'm kind of at that place. I'm tired. But instead of longing for sleep, I need Jesus to fill me with rest. And there is sweet rest in surrendering my will. I'm just so stubborn. I want sleep. No really, I have times when I wake up, I search my schedule for the next available "rest" time....just 5 mins....that's all I need....




 I have two girlies headed off to Northview Highschool next year, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to waste their summer with a bad perspective on my end. I NEED to change my perspective on this season, because the next season is right behind this one, and I know it. And I know I don't have any idea of what it holds except that if my perspective doesn't change, then no matter what it is I will feel like I'm drowning.



Perspective Peeps, Perspective.....

SO....... here's to poopies, green snot, sleepless nights, bathroom re- re-models and teenagers!

Besides, how could this face not wipe away all your troubles.....




Happy Tuesday, Peeps!

Adoption Ramblings of a Mama.....

Last Thursday, stirred emotions....

We headed to court to make Hope an "official" Pilcher......








I can't explain the emotions....




I just remember a friend of mine trying to explain to me the "adoption high" and what it feels like coming down from it....











I totally get what she's talking about.


When we got the call about Hope, our life didn't change drastically until the reality that she wasn't leaving occurred....





which wasn't long after, but it was such a whirlwind. We weren't prepared, like you usually are when you have 9 mos ahead of you.



The newness of a baby was awesome. The severity of the sleepless nights sunk in, and the emotions that took place at the hospital lingered, as my little family of 5 became 6 overnight....JUST.LIKE.THAT.




In other words, it took a lot longer then a couple months for it to sink in. In fact, as the Judge was asking us our vows and charging us with this life that had been given to us, I couldn't even imagine going through that event early then that date....




I kept wondering why the court date was set over 4 mos from the date we received Hope, but I am just so thankful for this date....







That date came just a few days shy of the turn of events just last year, where we were in another courtroom pursuing another little life in North Georgia. One that was the same age as our Hope.



The severity of the emotions and the commitment we were making to Hope was making my heart pound....



It was just SO.REAL.




We opened our hearts to a child in need, and GOD provided her to us.



But really, us to her....






I just can't explain the joy that she is. The honor it is to look at her every day, and know that we've been given this life to raise, and love, and cherish. Her smile lights up a room, just like her sister's, and melts my heart, every.single.time.





To know that she will be raised in the Lord. She will be introduced to the gospel, and she will know that Jesus died for her, because He wants her to share her story and the great work that He has done; and He wants to spend eternity with her...wow, y'all, just wow..... That hopefully her birth parents and others through this will have also felt and seen the love of Christ and the grace poured out. There is no way I can explain how that feels. Just no way.





It brings such tears to my eyes. When we were discussing some things with our Attorney after our court meeting, and we mentioned Foster Care, he said "you know that's where she was heading.....Hope, that is..."


I am not at all saying Foster Care is wrong, and I am very much thankful for the homes provided for children in direct need, love and care. But y'all, this precious life that you have seen through pictures, our testimony, and some of you have held in your own arms; was to be sent temporarily or possibly permanently to a home where she may or may not have called home forever, or call a mama and daddy permanently by name. And  the fact the birth parents gave her to us, is what I hope, (if they haven't already) be used to see that God's amazing love is big, that they got to choose a better life for her. That there will be healing, because they will know His great love for their child and for them, because of the sacrifice. Because of the mercy poured out. I pray they see, and that they will know Jesus and His great generosity because of this.






I do not dwell on "what if's", for I know my God has a plan for all.


But I do love to see His mighty hand work. And I am so thankful we are being used in her life, as she is in ours.




I have never before experienced  in my heart the depth of the out pouring of grace from our Heavenly Father like I continue to see during this process.  I have never felt a stronger urge for rescuing orphans then I have during this. If you have ever considered adopting, I encourage you strongly to pray about it. The Lord presses on the hearts what He wants you to know, for some.....that is actually adopting....for others, it's supporting the families that do so. Don't think He'll leave you alone on this. He worked on us for 14 years; I believe, preparing our hearts, our marriage, and our family for Hope. He didn't leave our hearts alone. Even when I tried to deny His plan for us.

We are not perfect. I'll admit that there were MANY times I thought "oh crap, did I just really say "yes Lord" to this?? We were in "freedom" zone...no more baby sitters, diapers, sleepless nights. We've got this family of 5 down and well into practice....I mean, it's been 10 YEARS since we had a baby and not to mention we will go through another TEENAGE years. Don't think the what if, what if, what if's didn't try to stop me..... they would start to creep in and I would have to verbally rebuke those thoughts aloud. I had to verbally claim that I will follow Jesus where ever He leads on this....

Our attorney asked us if we would still be interested in adoption again. Tim and I can agree, we always strive to be open  and follow where the Lord is leading and His plans for us. I have learned never to say never.....



Thursday night we had a little celebration for Hope's life. Elizabeth kept wanting to call it her "birthday" party :) I guess in a way, it was her official "birth" by law into our family.....




Our Jillian did the artwork for the cake with our theme "Family Tree", and we just had the best time celebrating and reflecting God's goodness.







 For those of you that have emailed, Facebook messaged me and the like, asking about who we used or went through for the adoption; I apologize for not yet responding to all of you yet....I'm getting there. Along with my 500 thank you cards. They're coming.....sincere apologies on my delay. Each one of y'all that has invested in giving of your time, talents, love, prayers and financial support for our family and for Hope is so appreciated by our entire family; that my heart bursts and tears fill my eyes when I think about it every day.




The details of our adoption story is so cool, but too much detail to write right now. But I love to see how Bellamia played a part in it and with readers like you.




Our home study was done privately by a customer to Bellamia and blog follower. She was just so precious and we are SO thankful for her and the timing God provided for that. If you are interested in going that route or have questions you can contact Leslie @ lesliehcude{at}gmail{dot}com.

We used  Sam McClure with The Adoption Law Firm out of Montgomery, Al. One of Sam's first words to me was "I'm your OBGYN in adoption, you can call me anytime...." He was amazing to work with and has such a heart for the lost and the orphans.


If you are still reading, wow, bless you! Haven't sat down this long to write a post in a while!


Happy Rainy Monday, y'all! Hope to be back real soon!

we've got to quit meeting like this.....

it's like one of those friends you are dying to have coffee with, but can't make the schedule work. Just so you can sit back and soak in the life that they are breathing out to you. Just enjoying each others company......

If I were to show you my home right now, you would question why I am blogging instead of folding laundry. If you don't know me by now, let me introduce myself....My name is Katie Pilcher, and I despise, I mean utterly despise folding laundry, but I also despise the mountains of it that are piled between my bedroom and the laundry room.




I keep telling myself I'll get to it.........

It's been a heavy few weeks since last meeting with y'all.

I finally managed to spend some time finishing the "babies" room.

The inspiration, honestly came from our Lizzy, and then secondly from the name banner on Hope's crib.

A friend brought me that banner in the hospital the day after we got Hope.

Finishing the last details of this room came at one of the most saddest times in my adult hood.

I had a photo shoot scheduled on this room last Tuesday, and on Monday my Papa passed away, while in his sleep....






He was able to cuddle with Hope in this pic, just two weeks before his death.




As I was finishing the room later that day and into the next, I kept thinking about how he and my Nana had a vivid part in that room. Papa made sure you were going to know how to work, and work hard. He spent lots of time with our Elizabeth. I was pregnant with Lizzy when my Nana died, and Elizabeth is her namesake.

My grandmother taught me to sew, along with cooking and baking bread. She preferred making her own patterns (as I do as well, or should I say, I can't stand to follow a pattern. too many steps, so little time),  and would carefully show me how important it is to "pin" my fabric before sewing, or I'd regret it....and she was right....

I know fully that this room was created out of life and skill lessons that my grandparents taught me. It will be enjoyed by their great grandchildren because of the fruits of their love and time they gave to teach me at such an early age. Because of this, I will be forever grateful. He will be missed more then I can even fathom now, because it's still so fresh. But the thought of Nana and Papa together again, worshiping their King in Heaven, brings such joy to my heart. My Nana had a smile like our Elizabeth's that just lights up a room. There isn't a question that her smile alone made Jesus dance with her on His faithful servant's homecoming.

my blogging time is up. I have a little bundle that has learned she can talk and get people's attention. And my attention, is what she's going after at this moment.

I'll leave you with a few details of the room......

1. Lizzy's favorite color is blue.
2.  She wanted a bed that could "close up" like a "hide out" since she was sharing her space with a sibling 10 years younger.
3. I left Lizzy's original bedding because it was expensive and it was still in great shape. I don't mind mixing patterns like that. The name banner provided me comfort in that. I love those mixed calico prints on it, and just thought I'd combine other prints to join it.
4. I took Lizzy's bed skirt to make Hope's crib skirt. The crib, bumper and sheet was at our home, brought and set up by a friend and our other girlies before we even arrived home from the hospital with Hope. Such a blessing. I wouldn't dream of changing that memory.

5. We had drawers built under her bed since we had to omit a chest of drawers for space. Allowing Lizzy's bed higher so that Hope wouldn't be able to get up there for a couple years without help.
6. Lizzy tells us "good night, sweet dreams, see you in the morning. I love you." EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT. and has for years. So that is why it is written on a chalkboard above her head.
7. When Hope moves to a twin bed we will mimic Elizabeth's bed on the adjacent wall, with drawers underneath for Hope.
8. A friend let me borrow her adorable Blabla mobile, while Hope's is still on back order. I remember this friend purchasing it from my store when she was pregnant with her son. I still think this is one of the sweetest mobiles ever.
9. The cowhide rug is placed because I needed a thin rug so that drawers would not get caught up on when opening. Also, I repainted the floors from green and white check to cream and white check, so I didn't want to cover too much of it. Also, Lizzy is approaching preteens and she is a funky girl so I needed to add some funky elements to make it look "grown-y".
10. It also gave the gold tone that I followed in the antique' lighting and frames. We have an old home so I love to keep some "age" in each room.

Hope y'all are having a great week. I'm not planning on leaving y'all too long.....I've got a little something in the works that involves this place.....