Friday, October 15, 2010


I almost titled this "Hope for the Hopeless", but that seemed a little inappropriate, considering I am not hopeless and you are not hopeless, especially since I have Christ THE HOPE that lives in me!! But the reason why that was the title for a few minutes in the corner of my mind was because I am a hopeless romantic! I love the sappy movies the surprised flower bouquets, you know, the things that women love!!

me and tim

Well, my husband, raised with 2 brothers and had a Father that was not a romantic, meant I was pretty much doomed in that department!

Tim and I have officially been together HALF of my life { I LOVE SAYING THAT!}!! What a great testimony to God's grace and love for us! Marriage is tough stuff! We are two selfish people living under one roof, while raising 3 little selfish people. Sadly, marriages fall apart all around us.

Once I had a friend tell me that while she was on the "playground duty" one Wednesday night at our church when our girls were about 5 and 6 years old, that one of my girls over heard the word divorce. Jillian quickly asked her, "What's Divorce?"; my friend had a little panic attack as her mind raced for an answer. She responded like many of us would do. " Oh, it is when someone doesn't stay married and one person moves out", "BUT DON'T WORRY, THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO YOUR PARENTS!" When she told me this, I told my friend "Thank you, but honestly, I can't say it won't happen to us" She looked at me strangely, so I went on. "Divorce is a result of Sin, and Tim and I are sinful people." " I never intend on divorcing Tim, but I am sure that every person that says "I do" to the love of their life on their wedding day doesn't intend to either". "But it happens, and by God's grace it has not happened to us; I am not above that sin."

I still think to this day she might think me a little strange in that response like maybe some of you do. The fact is, my parents were married for 33 years before their divorce. I have seen it head on, sin is yucky and so am I.

Back to the romantic thing I was talking about.....

So for the first years I poured my heart and soul into our marriage, doing lots of "thinking of you" things for Tim. I loved doing it, and don't get me wrong, we should still do it, but of course you know what ends up happening if you are not careful with your motives. The "whys" start creeping in:

Why doesn't HE do the same?

Why won't HE do that?

I've told HIM a hundred times?

HE just doesn't get it?

When I was about 21 years old, God did a MAJOR work in my life. I was relying entirely too much on Tim. I was feeling a void of love, and contentment in my life that only God could fill. I allowed Satan to feed me lies like:

HE doesn't love me?

HE should've done this?

It's all HIS fault?

If HE cared HE would....!

Why won't HE just surprise me!

When I believed those lies Satan fed, I sunk low....very low. Into a pretty deep depressed state.

God spoke to me through a friend that showed me my sin and need for my Savior. And my Savior was NOT my husband.

My husband was simply a gift that God gave me. And just like everything else, getting to know someone takes time. Change takes time. Maturing takes time.

Tim would never possibly be able to fill all my needs {I'm a pretty needy person!}. My Heavenly Father is all I need! Tim is just a bonus {a great one, I might add!}.

Through the years we have had many growing pains that a marriage has. Don't give up! Love is a choice. I remember what one of my beloved Pastor's said once "you don't fall out of love, you choose to love another.".

Tim has gotten better with the caring gifts and such, and I have gotten better with not depending on them to be my source of contentment. This Year marked our 12th year of marriage, Praise the Lord! It also marks my 30th birthday and with that, I was surprised big time!

Back in May, Tim was home from a business trip working in town. I texted him....

Me: Do you want to go out on a date with me for lunch?

Tim: Yes, where?

Me: How about the Bistro?

Tim: Ok See you then

When I drove up, I noticed that my mom's car was there. I just passed it off as what a coincidence that she would be having lunch with a friend here at the same time. I walked in and there was a bouquet of flowers at the table where Tim and my Mom were sitting. Tim greeted me with a kiss and as I sat down I was still quite dumbfounded and couldn't figure out what was going on, considering I was the one to ask HIM out on the date a couple hours prior.

The flowers were for me indeed with a card telling me that in October for my 30th birthday we would be going here.........


This is the only picture I have of our adventure so far, because as you read this we are in a plane heading back from what I am sure was a FABULOUS trip!

So, honestly, I was totally shocked, crying and in awwww of the amazing surprise and still feel very undeserving of such a trip, but thankful, very thankful for the opportunity to go,for everyone that has helped at the shop and with my children, and the freedom to receive such a gift out of love!! Be back on Monday with some pictures of our trip!! Have a great weekend!


JMW said...

What a wonderful post! My hubby and I celebrate 11 years tomorrow - big years for both of us! (Although, I'm a few years into my 30s!) Also, we honemooned in Ireland for 10 days and LOVED it. So, if you have any questions, feel free to ask. I love talking about that place - talk about romantic!

mary katharine said...

Yeah!!! Can't wait to hear all about it! And see, too! I hope you had a perfect time:).

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